I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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