dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
