Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This baby is an asshole
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
