but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
