weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
