she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize