We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
