The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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