that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
