2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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