he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No subtext here. People are naked.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
