I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
