I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
