The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
