Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
