ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
