Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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