Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
