He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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