OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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