there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
