i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
