Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
