I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
