if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
