$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
