My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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