We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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