the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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