That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
