this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
