yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
