textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
