Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
