so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
