that's an acceptable place to lick
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
