She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
