If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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