it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
