Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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