is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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