I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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