Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
