Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
