and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
