yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
