Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
