Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
