My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
