Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
